Roll out 2009: Bring on 2010

2009. It's been a tumultuous year- some good, some rotten. With all the

deaths this year too? Yeah, I'm over 2009.

Here's wishing for a prosperous, happy and healthy 2010 for everyone!

Have a Happy Holidays- Turkey All the Way

Spinning Bird Kick: Ninja Monkey Style

See, this is the problem with teaching a monkey taekwondo. They might just decide one day, it's YOU trainer-man who ought to take a drop kick in the face and be the star of the show for once.

And so another intrepid entrepreneur found this the case with his touring monkey troupe dancing for yuan outside a shopping mall in eastern China's Hubei province. Lo Wung (above) looks kinda surprised here- no crap, Sherlock! That said, awesome action shot from the photographer; I have to say.

In the Telegraph article, the best thing was the amused photographer's comment. Talk about street entertainment!

Hu Luang, 32, a bystander who photographed the incident, said: "I saw one punch him in the eye - he grabbed another by the ear and it responded by grabbing his nose. They were leaping and jumping all over the place. It was better than a Bruce Lee film."

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/6825449/Taekwondo-monkeys-attack-trainer.html

World Cup 2010 Draw or Eurovision National Lotto?

I watched the long awaited presentation of the group draw for the World Cup 2010, taking place in South Africa. Charlize Theron acted as co-host, but this was no Oscars. The South African influence played out with a lively pre- music show. Unfortunately this was a FIFA run affair from then on in: no fun skits to be found, no spontaneity allowed to seep out. Considering they had an Oscar winning actress on hand, they really made no use of Theron at all.

I always feel like Fifa gigs come across as a mix between a Eurovision song contest and the National Lottery weekly draw. There's no audio, but the pic above sets the scene- DRY.

As it turns out, Theron added unscripted comedic relief to the dry-as-toast French co-host who led the 30 minute proceedings. Signor Pain Rassis [stale bread] kept interrupting Theron's charm offensive with the draw 'assistants' that included Haile Gebrselassi ("Haile, you need to smile more- Smiley Haile!" owing to the Ethiopian running legends' infectious, ever present smile), David Beckham ("Are you sure that's the best ball?" more coquettish flirting with David) and other South African elite athletes. He also had an odd professorial manner about him; his grammatically perfect English lacking the conversational subtleties that someone with lesser English would have used. Consequently, his linking comments came off as blunt, useless pieces of football trivia about which team played another team delivered by ear piece seemed random. All the while Charlize made me chuckle with her rolling eyes, barely disguised annoyance with Signor Pain Rassis and sly put downs ("Wow, you're like a little Facts Machine!"- elbow to the ribs).

The funniest skit- you gotta make you're own entertainment when watching a Fifa fiesta- was when SPR asked Theron about some match in the 1950's, to which she retorted "Wait a minute, how old do you think I am?! You're asking me about something in the '50's?" shock thinly veiled in her voice.

One thing to be thankful for- the draw didn't last long, and England's group isn't half bad!

Group G, however- ouch. Brazil, Ivory Coast, Portugal and North Korea: Group of DEATH

Group A: South Africa, Mexico, Uruguay, France
Group B: Argentina, South Korea, Nigeria, Greece,
Group C: England, USA, Algeria, Slovenia
Group D: Germany, Australia, Ghana, Serbia
Group E: Holland, Japan, Cameroon, Denmark,
Group F: Italy, New Zealand, Paraguay, Slovakia
Group G: Brazil, North Korea, Ivory Coast, Portugal
Group H: Spain, Honduras, Chile, Switzerland.

Bet365 BINGO HEAD Ad: Makes Me Wanna Dance

From the moment I hear C+C Music Factor's "GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT", I get excited. 'Running Man dance' excited, and all because my current favourite advert is just starting. Who needs X-Factor? No Sir, I got me a TV Ad.

It's not an innovative ad, like the Sony Bravia Bouncy Balls or Volkswagen Golf 'Singing in the Rain' spots.

The infectious beat starts and coloured circles envelope the stage to expose alien-like silhouettes waiting their cue. With a lights setting change to 'disco', the figures begin their routine in earnest. There's the runnning man, various two step manoeuvres, hand swooping, throwing their big head in a loopy circle and static posing. All this happens in front of a garish feature wall with BET365 BINGO before a tannoy announcement 'Hey Bingo Heads!...' telling us about a £1M Bonanza up for grabs on their website, and the end of the routine.

It's like watching kids in a talent show: plenty of hardwork and attention to detail, but not much talent. Or maybe an amateur dance off.

Therein lies its charm and resonance: low key, cheese. Simple, fun (the RUNNING MAN!) and memorable. "EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!!"

Buon Compleanno a Me!!

Not sure if that title is grammatically sound. A me, a moi? Whatever.

C'est mon anniversaire, peeps!

Today has been unexpectedly lovely. All cooked breakfasts, thoughtful gifts, cards and well wishing texts and FB msgs (virtually the same thing these days. Oh how dated the phone seems?)

Maybe the most touching has been the flowers my friend sent and my brother left for me. It's quite the thrill receiving a sleek box package from Interflora with a gorgeous bouquet of sunflowers and peach roses. Autumn bloom, if ever there was.

It's nice spending time with family, hearing from friends I haven't heard from in a while and chilling out to noodles and champagne lunches before going to a restaurant tonight. All this before the much heralded (by me) Birthday Pageant Passeggiata, which is where I parade around the kingdom (cul de sac) dropping in on friends and well-wishers. Trick or treat style: "I'm dressed as ME! Now how about a gift voucher for Decleor?"