Bet365 BINGO HEAD Ad: Makes Me Wanna Dance

From the moment I hear C+C Music Factor's "GONNA MAKE YOU SWEAT", I get excited. 'Running Man dance' excited, and all because my current favourite advert is just starting. Who needs X-Factor? No Sir, I got me a TV Ad.

It's not an innovative ad, like the Sony Bravia Bouncy Balls or Volkswagen Golf 'Singing in the Rain' spots.

The infectious beat starts and coloured circles envelope the stage to expose alien-like silhouettes waiting their cue. With a lights setting change to 'disco', the figures begin their routine in earnest. There's the runnning man, various two step manoeuvres, hand swooping, throwing their big head in a loopy circle and static posing. All this happens in front of a garish feature wall with BET365 BINGO before a tannoy announcement 'Hey Bingo Heads!...' telling us about a £1M Bonanza up for grabs on their website, and the end of the routine.

It's like watching kids in a talent show: plenty of hardwork and attention to detail, but not much talent. Or maybe an amateur dance off.

Therein lies its charm and resonance: low key, cheese. Simple, fun (the RUNNING MAN!) and memorable. "EVERYBODY DANCE NOW!!!"

Buon Compleanno a Me!!

Not sure if that title is grammatically sound. A me, a moi? Whatever.

C'est mon anniversaire, peeps!

Today has been unexpectedly lovely. All cooked breakfasts, thoughtful gifts, cards and well wishing texts and FB msgs (virtually the same thing these days. Oh how dated the phone seems?)

Maybe the most touching has been the flowers my friend sent and my brother left for me. It's quite the thrill receiving a sleek box package from Interflora with a gorgeous bouquet of sunflowers and peach roses. Autumn bloom, if ever there was.

It's nice spending time with family, hearing from friends I haven't heard from in a while and chilling out to noodles and champagne lunches before going to a restaurant tonight. All this before the much heralded (by me) Birthday Pageant Passeggiata, which is where I parade around the kingdom (cul de sac) dropping in on friends and well-wishers. Trick or treat style: "I'm dressed as ME! Now how about a gift voucher for Decleor?"

X-Factor UK Favourite: Joe McElderry

Just got through another week of X-Factor screaming and shrieking. This time, the aural onslaught didn't come from the Twins (you know my thoughts on them). What's happening to the contestants? Strong singers like Danyl, Stacey and Ollie were notably off pitch at varying moments.

The only one to deliver a perfect pitch was Joe Mcelderry. And when I think about it, it's always Joe who quietly performs well week in, week out.

It's not often I'll agree with Cheryl, but I totally understand the sisterly care she shows to Joe. He's a little sweetheart, and what I like most about him is how understated he is. Everyone else draws their fans based on reasons not wholly related to singing. Ollie is 'fit', Lloyd is a teen girls wet dream, Danyl has the Marmite quality (love it or hate it) and Stacey is coasting on Eliza Doolittle charm.

Joe also gave the only performance of the night that drew my eye up from my laptop to listen. Coming at the end of a lacklustre show, little more than 60 minutes of background music while I worked, was some feat.

JOE for the finals. ALLEZ JOE!!

UPDATE: I was just checking youtube for a clip of tonight's performance to include- too early, is the answer. But what I found was maybe better- a fellow Joe believer! So if you don't believe me, listen to Sharky1105

UPDATE II: Joe's performance 21 November 2009

The Hand of Gaul: Incompetent Linesmen Strike Again!

Well, well. The start of terrible, avoidable football eff ups begins already. With every Fifa World Cup to roll by, we're treated to not only excellent displays of football and shocking fouls, but brazenly wrong linesmen decision making.

Tonight's controversy merely wets the appetite for howlers so sublime us viewers will really have need of endless replays and multi-angle TV coverage. France were playing the second leg of their World Cup play off match against a plucky Ireland, and were trailing 0-1. Deep into extra time, France penetrating again and again, Thierry Henry used his hand to touch the ball down (TWICE) and threaded it through to William Gallas, who neatly put the goal away.

Where do we start, in analysing what went wrong tonight?

• One, France had a man off-side at the start of that fateful charge.
• Two, Thierry handled the ball...twice. Swedish ref, Martin Hansson, wasn't sure and conferred with the linesman.
• Three, conferring with any linesman in football is always a wasteful decision in the majority of cases, owing to the fact that linesmen never see anything, even infringements occurring under their nose.

Watch any EPL game and the evidence is there for all to see. In theory, Hansson, old linesman should be able to tell you what happens on his line. In case you missed it. Too bad, he saw nothing and will scurry away Scot free into the dust long before the consequences of his god awful decision does.

People will blame Thierry Henry, and label him a cheater. He'll have to take it, and so long as his country are through, I doubt he'll care. But the real culprits are the officials who have all the rules on their side, but once again show that even the obvious incidents can waltz right before them before they action the rules correctly.

It's sad to see a team who tried so hard be denied the fruits of their labour, all because of incompetence. Make no mistake- that is what it was. Every time a ball crosses the line, yet is declared not. Every time a goal from a free kick is scored, but the ref cites 'foul' based on an inconsequential tussle in the wall. Every time a striker is onside, yet called off. These all add up to more than a slip of the eye. These amount to unfair, arbitrary advantage given by those whose job it is to monitor the game, not blemish it with their presence.

The time is coming for use of video technology during play. Human error as big as this and as frequent occurring in any other area of the sport, would result in a P45. The stakes are too high. It's introduction need not threaten the role of the officials, and for the accountable ones, it wouldn't.

The old arguements and fears about changing the nature of the game, the high tempo speed it's played in and the trust in officials decisions? Someone needs to send a memo to Fifa: that ship has long sailed.

ATP Masters Paris: What In High Haddes...?

(Flickr photo- iPh4n70M, 13 Nov 2009)

I love tennis. Sometimes for the technical brilliance on display, the feats of dogged determination, a single handed backhand pinging the ball down the line before the opponent even begins to move, and you're sat at home going, Ohhhh!

Other times it's because, occasionally, events do not follow the predicted script. AT ALL. Julien Bennetau, a 27-year old French man is the sort of player who simply perspires hard work. I haven't yet seen him on court without his blonde curls matted to his scalp, his shirts translucent with sweat- forget Dri FIT- and trails of rubber soles etched in his wake. He really tries out there. But against a rested Roger Federer, in the penultimate tournament of maybe his most emotionally satisfying year yet, the end we got was not at all expected: Bennetau won in 3 sets!

I casually checked into the match on the off chance some tennis might still be in play. Instead I caught the tail end of a thrilling third set, with Bennetau running down and hurling himself like a lemming with no fears after increasingly exasperated Federer shots.

A quick scan at the stats showed Federer's first serve percentage was low in the 50's, a slew of unforced errors and only 1 in 7 breakpoints converted. All of which points to Federer's unease on the Paris indoor courts (historically speaking, he's not been a hit) and some gutsy play on Bennetau's part, to the absolute delight of the Paris crowds. Yes, you read right- Paris crowd. Delighted. Not a loftily held nose in sight.

So on day 3, the Masters series Paris sees the loss of the world no.1, but Rafael Nadal (2) remains on track after narrowly escaping 5 match points against Nicolas Almalgro, Del Potro (5) remains with a win over Marat Safin (aurevoir Marat, who's retiring after Paris) and Andy Murray (3) takes on James Blake now.

Scrap the last post- X-Factor Twins stay...

So the circus rolls on, and John and Edward survive their first sing off. Que?! I know, right?

Salute to Dannii tonight, who commented "I'll just say Good Luck to all the singers in this competition". Good luck? More like, God Speed- Y'all need it.

Who would have thought there was a fence sturdy enough to hold the sum weight of Cowell's ego? Subtracting a set of cojones, that fence was indeed found tonight as Simon voted to go to deadlock, effectively hanging Lucie Jones out to dry by leaving the final decision to the public.

Are you kidding me? I'm shocked. SHOCKED! Poor Lucie immediately started to cry once she heard Simon's decision. I'm sure everyone watching pretty much knew her fate was sealed, too.

What exactly is the purpose of the sing off? Aren't the judges bound to vote off the act who perform the worst in their final performance?

Please, please, Great British public- enough is enough. Your sadistic fun with your voting choice needs to stop. This is supposed to be a singing contest. And the twins just can't sing!

X-Factor Twins- Finally, bottom 2!

YESSSSS!!!

John and Edward whats-their-name have finally been placed in the bottom two in the X-Factor Results show (8.11.09). Surely the spectacle of uncoordinated choreography and tuneless singing has come to an end? Even the lure of Simon Cowell's promise to 'leave the country' should the twins win this years' cycle can't be enough motivation to keep the public voting for them?

Let's hope not- sing off is up next!